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ALTERNATIVE CREW HANDBOOK!

Front Counter

Anyone working on front counter should read our humorous, just for entertainment piece on stealing.

Your other main concern here is the customers. It seems that all the scum on earth eat at McDonalds from time to time- don’t take shit, never apologise and above all else, never, ever smile unless YOU feel like it.

You should work out with kitchen staff signals to deal with objectionable customers. For example, ‘extra bacon’ as a grill order might mean the order is for a police officer. It’s then up to kitchen to do their worst. Or, a ‘big Mac extra cheese, extra milk’, might mean ‘an abusive customer has ordered a big Mac extra cheese, please spit in it’. Abusive customers very often order grills because being awkward is there raison d’être.

However, you should never, ever encourage people to do horrible things to burgers randomly. This is because lots of customers are actually really nice people. Give free food to anyone who is pleasant or looks like they are short of cash. Be careful giving free stuff to middle aged, middle class people because they just don’t get it and will stand there saying “I don’t think you charged me for this”. If you make a habit of giving free stuff to regular customers who work in local shops, pubs, etc. then you will hopefully find that visiting their workplaces soon results in the favour being reciprocated. Workers solidarity against the bosses!

Unlike in kitchen, there is usually no point trying to do things quickly on front counter- it rarely buys you a break but just means more punters want served. Remember- if the queue gets long enough then people are less inclined to wait which ultimately means less people to serve. Try to leave your till whenever possible, go to the toilet, wash your hands excessively, claim your trousers are falling down, anything to break the tedium. Try talking to customers (!?), instead of “can I take your order here please?”, try “all right there, just finished work?” “er... yeah” “Looks like it’s been a rough day...etc.” Just serving food robotically is dehumanising for you and the customers.

Oh, and never use the ice scoop!

Read this! Get paid your full wages

The outrageously titled Everything you ever wanted to know about stealing from McD's!

Know your rights!

How to pass your day- Ten things to do in McDonalds when it's dead

Recipes! - Break time never tasted so good!

John Wayne's bumper guide to the job: Kitchen Front counter Backroom, cleaning, trashwalks

Got a scam you want to share with your colleagues? Let us know

And remember kids...

"Our competitors can try to copy many of our secrets, but they cannot duplicate our pride, our enthusiasm and our dedication for this business. There is no single factor more important than the dedication and effort of McDonald's employees. The McDonald's spirit is exclusively ours and yours." Andrew Taylor, President and CEO of McDonalds UK

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Get Involved Don't leave it to someone else, it's easy, it's fun, and you just might inherit the earth

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